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Thursday, September 13, 2012

Cassie's Journal - September 12, 2012

It’s been another beautiful day here, and even though we were at school, that did allow us to have Phys-Ed outdoors; lunch time is always better when we can escape from the building for a while; and just having bright sunshine to look out the windows at feels better than it does on bad weather days.

Why am I writing about the weather?

Because I’m trying to avoid writing about what has been on my mind off and on all day. No matter how much I might wish it to be different, it seems that ignoring or avoiding the favorite extra-curricular activity of nearly every tween and teen in town is impossible.

Avoidance got less likely today, and while I’m not suggesting that I’d rather be oblivious to what’s going on around me; sometimes it’s not fun being an empath.

Rowen crossed over today – or she did for a few minutes of temporary insanity. She came back this time, but the writing’s on the wall; and I’m going to have to deal with being the last sane Grade Seven student in our school while also figuring out how to support my best friend as she descends slowly into madness.

Okay, so that’s just a bit over the top, but you know what I mean.

The ‘moment’ came while we were at the park this afternoon. I’ll skip the rest of it, but let’s just say that by then; I’d already had enough of the boy-girl goofiness that seemed especially intense among our classmates today. We’d already done the after-school snack with Mom, Ethan, and Ehlana, and finished our homework, before biking over to the park. As usual during football season, there were boys playing a pick-up match there; while a group of girls were sitting on the bleachers playing their usual part in the other game going on there – the only one they were really interested in. Rowen and I rode over to the football field first; mostly just to talk with some of our friends for a few minutes before moving on.

We’d been sitting on our bikes next to the bleachers that the rest of the girls were sitting for a few minutes when one of the guys in our class scored a touchdown on a long pass and run play. I’ll leave the names out for Rowen’s benefit, but when the girl in our class who is currently chasing touchdown boy started bouncing around and cheering for him; and Rowen saw his reaction to her attention; that was the moment when she crossed over.

Just as an aside, if jealousy can cause you to cross over; I wonder if it’s ever been a trigger to launch a strong latent across the line into having usable Magi power. Violet’s trigger had been different, but then anger had triggered other involuntary uses; so I suspect strong jealousy could have the same effect.

Studying that would be more interesting, but would just be another way of avoiding this little problem of mine.

I know what you’re going to be thinking when you read this some day, Aunt Leanne; and no, not even having my best friend cross over ahead of me is going to pull or push me into making the leap too. My personal preference would be to just skip the next couple of years and just meet the rest of the kids my age on the other side once they’ve passed through the crazy years. No, I’m sure that won’t happen, but I might be able to shorten the time I’ll be stuck in the middle of it all.

Getting back to Rowen, as I mentioned already, she did come back over the line again, but I know that it’ll happen again, and eventually; she’ll stay on the other side for good. When she does; I’m going to have to figure out how to handle doing all of the things she’ll want to do with the other girls when the last thing I want to do is sit around; talk about boys; moon over them; chase them; or giggle over every lame joke or amazing, ridiculous feat that the boys attempt to impress with.

If that sounds harsh, ask yourself how you’d feel if you were a PhD student, and the guys all sat around trying to impress you with belching, drinking, and eating contests.

Oh wait – that pretty much describes every college comedy movie ever made; but I’m sure you get my point.

Rowen and I went on to go for a ride around the park shortly after that moment, and she didn’t want to be anywhere around that football game after that. She was even quieter than usual too, and we split up and went home or to the computer store a half hour before we needed to be back. I’m sure Rowen’s had even more to think about that I have; though she didn’t talk about any of it when we were chatting on the computer earlier.

I had dinner with Mom, Dad, and the twins; Mom did a Magi lesson with us; I helped her with the bath and bedtime routine for Ethan and Ehlana; and I’ve been working on my computer in my room since they went to bed. Archive and language studies; email; a bit of family business work; the chat with Rowen; and the usual nightly news, entertainment, and sports check didn’t really keep me distracted enough, though it has at least helped to make me tired. Maybe that will keep me from having dreams tonight that have Rowen and me in the middle of endless moments of tween angst. I have a feeling there will be more than enough of that going on in the real world for us in the not-nearly-distant-enough future.

With Halloween coming up, even the timing for this is scary!

That’s enough for today.

Say ‘goodnight, Cassie’.

“Goodnight, Cassie.”